A Polite Conversation With Him
What in the world does learning how to use etiquette in conversation and learning how to converse with our heavenly Father have in common? Actually, quite a bit. Conversations with Him are what we think of as prayer. In the 1896 etiquette book, The Secret of a Happy Home, Christian author, Marion Harland, speaks of the satisfaction in telling one’s woes and sorrows to an interested listener.
“Undoubtedly there is a momentary satisfaction in telling one’s woes and sorrows to an interested listener. When the auditor is a friend, and a trusted friend, whose sympathy is genuine and whose discretion is vast, there is a comfort beyond description in unburdening one’s soul.”
Marion Harland, The Secret of a Happy Home 1896
Fortunately every one of us has a trusted friend we can unburden our souls to. King Solomon told us, “… there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The friend he is referring to is Christ, our Lord and Savior.
Our Lord and Savior gave us detailed instructions on having a polite conversation in prayer with our heavenly Father. He told us, “And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.”
“Some people are always bored. May it not be because they look at everything animate and inanimate from a selfish standpoint, with the query in their minds, “How does that affect me?” The old definition of a bore as “a person who talks so much of himself that he gives you no chance to of yourself,” may apply not only to the bore, but to the bored. When you find yourself wearied and uninterested, be honest enough to examine yourself calmly, and see if the reason is not because your vis-a-vis is not talking about anything which interests you especially. Should he turn the conversation upon your favorite occupation or pastime, or even upon your personal likes and dislikes (which, by the way, might be an infinite bore to him), would he not at once become entertaining?”Marion Harland, The Secret of a Happy Home 1896
Listening to the other person is an important key to polite conversation. Nobody enjoys chatting with a boorish person who only is concerned with prattling on about themselves. Your heavenly Father is not interested in having a one-way conversation with you. Besides, if you are not listening during your prayer, you cannot possibly attain His wisdom for your requests. Conversing with our heavenly Father must always include listening. In her 1860 book, The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness, Florence Hartley gives us instruction on the importance of listening while conversing.
“It seems paradoxical to observe that the art of listening well forms a part of the duty of conversation. To give up the whole of your attention to the person who addresses himself to you, is sometimes a heavy tax, but it is one which we must pay for the privileges of social life, and an early practice will render it an almost involuntary act of good breeding; whilst consideration for others will give this little sacrifice a merit and a charm.”Florence Hartley, The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness 1860
Genuine praise is another important aspect of good conversation. Marion Harland gives an excellent example of developing the habit of praising the one you are talking with.
“Ten girls whom I know formed a society for the repression of unkind criticism. The members themselves to try, as far as in them lay, to speak kindly of people when it was possible for them to do so, and when impossible to say nothing. At first it was hard, for self-conceit would intrude, and it is hard for one girl to praise another who dislikes her. Little by little the tiny seed of effort grew into a habit of kindly speech.”Marion Harland, The Secret of a Happy Home 1896
This story is reminiscent of the hardness that can develop in our hearts and hinder us from praising our heavenly Father during prayer. The enemy of your soul will always point out why God is not worthy to be praised. A direct contradiction to the Scriptures! The psalmist tells us, “I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies.”
Just as Marion Harland reminds us that no true lady complains while conversing with others, neither should we bring our request to the Lord in a complaining manner.
“But if you do not feel this, for politeness’ sake refrain from making your listener supremely uncomfortable by your complaints. No true lady will so far forget her innate ladyhood as to be guilty of this rudeness.”Marion Harland, The Secret of a Happy Home 1896
An extremely descriptive picture of the perils of complaining while praying are found in the book of Numbers. The Israelites were whining about not having meat and my oh my did they ever get their request granted! The Lord said, “The LORD heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will eat it. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the LORD, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”’”
Polite conversation sometimes involves forgiveness. The person chatting with you may say something offensive and it is important for you to overlook the words that have wounded your heart. The Lord instructed us that prayer also involves forgiveness. In the book of Matthew, Jesus told us, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Our prayers will be hindered if we approach God and have unforgiveness towards others.
Dearest girlfriends, let us endeavor to develop polite conversation when we pray.
Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. … ~ Psalm 55:22 NLT
The Day the Laughter Died
Some would say that April 26, 1989 is the day the laughter died. That is the day that the greatest comedienne of all time died. Lucille Ball who spent her life bringing laughter to millions was silenced. My dearest friend Cyndee and I have spent numerous hours laughing while watching I Love Lucy. Who could resist laughing as Lucy and Ethel frantically gobble handfuls of chocolate candy to hide their failure on their new job venture. What about that hilarious expression on Lucy’s face when her boss says, “Speed it up a little!”? But alas, our lives are not always filled with laughter. Life has a way of turning laughter into mourning.
The Bible gives us many examples of times the laughter died. One such was when Sarah had given birth to Isaac. On this joyous day she said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” Interestingly the name Isaac is Yitschaq in Hebrew which means “he laughs”. Yet, there would come a day when Sarah would find herself not laughing. A great feast was held when Isaac was weaned. The truth is Sarah’s distress on this particular day was the result of sin. Sarah had refused to wait on the promise of God to have a child and took matters into her own hands. Subsequently Hagar gave birth to Abraham’s first son, Ishmael. At the feast, Sarah observed Ishmael mocking her son Isaac. Like any mother, this upset her.
Girlfriends, has your laughter died? There are many reasons we find ourselves not laughing. One is quite simply sin. If this is why your laughter has ceased, then immediate repentance will bring joy to your heart and times of laughter to return.
Another reason is that our heavenly Father allows difficulties to come into our life in order for His greater purposes to be accomplished. Such is the case of the many hardships Joseph had to endure in the book of Genesis. If this is the reason you have no laughter, then accepting God’s greater plan for your life will bring you joy. Last year in the short span of a week I had three friends lose their husbands. All these ladies have accepted Jesus Christ into their lives and have the comfort only He can provide. However, understandably this was a period in their lives with very little laughter.
The enemy of your soul also wants to steal your laughter. Sometimes he will even convince you of a lie. For instance, “God is not going to bring you through a difficult time.” The only way to prevent Satan from absconding with your laughter is shielding yourself with the Word. The book of Ephesians tells us to take up the shield of faith, with which we can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. The word faith in the original Greek is pistis which means conviction of the truth. The way to have conviction of the truth is to immerse yourself in the Word of God.
Dearest girlfriends, I pray we would allow the laughter to return to our hearts and enjoy the life God has chosen for us.
At the End of the Day
Some days just don’t start out well at all … some weeks just don’t start out well … some years just don’t start out well. In our lives it is important to focus on the “end of the day”. Whether that is literally a twenty-four hour day, less than a day, or many days. In the midst of tumultuous times we can lose hope. Yet we must always stand on the scriptural truth that what is important is how we finish—not how we start, or even how long success takes. In the suspenseful saga of Queen Esther we see a wonderful ending to the Jews “day”, “Before the end of the day, King Xerxes gave Esther everything that had belonged to Haman, the enemy of the Jews.”
This story had its beginnings years before the victorious ending. One could say the roots of this story began during the reign of King Saul. The villain in Queen Esther’s story, Haman, was a descendant of King Agag whom King Saul was told to annihilate. Instead of obeying God, Saul killed all the Amalekites, but allowed King Agag to live. Some theologians believe that this could be the reason Haman wanted to destroy the Jews. Saul’s obedience to God might have prevented what the Jews were facing in the days of Queen Esther. But alas, it is important to keep in mind that no matter what or who caused your “day” to start badly, the ending can turn out good as long as your trust is in God. Just like the Jews who fasted and prayed for God to deliver them from the hands of the evil Haman, so also you must seek God and place your trust in Him.
King Solomon gave us wise counsel when he said, “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.”
Better is the end of a thing than the beginning. Since a true appraisal of any enterprise can only be made from the vantage point of its completion, the end is, the Preacher of wisdom reminds us, better than the beginning. However, the end is frequently arrived at very slowly, and the man who would find profit in this life must be a patient man.KJV Bible Commentary
Girlfriends, how is your “day” going to end? No one except our Lord can truly answer that, but are you trusting Him for the outcome no matter what you are facing? The apostle Paul faced many difficult days and yet he knew what counted was how well his “day” ended. In the book of First Timothy he stated, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”
Dearest girlfriends, I pray we would hold firmly onto the hand of our heavenly Father and wait patiently for the “end of the day”.
Heavenly Pleasures
King David spoke eloquently of heavenly pleasures when he said, “… you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” His son, Solomon, conversely chose to focus on earthly pleasures. After chasing pleasure here on earth he said, “I refused my heart no pleasure. … everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
The truth is when we focus on earthly pleasures we will end up like Solomon—disappointed. Whereas when we turn our hearts towards heavenly pleasures we will be filled with joy in our Lord’s presence.
King David gave us another amazing truth about heavenly pleasures when he said, “Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.” The Hebrew word for pleasures is Eden which means delight.
“Our loving God gives us access to the exhaustless fountains of paradise, a stream like that which watered Eden.”
KJV Bible Commentary
Our Lord and Savior warned us that indulging in earthly pleasures can choke the Word and hinder us from becoming spiritually mature. He said, “The seed … are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.”
Dearest girlfriends, let us turn our hearts towards heavenly pleasures where we will be filled with joy in His presence.
Life Goes On
What can one do to overcome insurmountable obstacles and face going on in life? There comes a point when we must go on with life despite what we have been through. King David not only faced having to go on with life after the death of his child, but also had to live with the knowledge this precious child’s death was his fault. As soon as David’s child became ill, he fasted and pleaded with God to have mercy and heal his son. The Lord chose not to bring this about and one would think this king could not go on. Yet David knew this was not the end for him. He got up, washed, put on clean clothes and had food brought to him. Girlfriends, I do not know about you, but food is the last thing I want in times of grief.
It is interesting to note that following this tragic event, King David and his wife Bathsheba, who herself was not entirely blameless, gave birth to a son named Solomon. Solomon gives us this wisdom in the book if Ecclesiastes, “Anyone who is among the living has hope—even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!” Here is what we can take from this—if you are reading this, you are alive and therefore have hope!
Dearest girlfriends, whatever problems you are facing, please take heart that you have ultimate hope through our Lord.
The Sweetness of Dessert
When you are invited to dinner at someone’s home, the one thing you can be certain of is receiving a meal. A sweet dessert … maybe, maybe not. When a meal is provided by someone else, dessert is not necessarily included. There is however someone who has invited everyone to dine and without fail will serve dessert.
Your heavenly Father who so graciously gave us His Son so that we may partake of the meal of eternal life has said, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Having the pleasure of enjoying a sweet dessert after a meal is a treat, an extra bonus to the meal. In the same way, the “dessert” your heavenly Father gives you is all the wonderful treats He gives beyond eternal life. His daily provision, healing, comfort, etc.
Dearest girlfriends, I pray we would look to our heavenly dinner host—our heavenly Father, to provide the sweet “desserts” of life.
Packing Lightly
by Victoria Robinson
Imagine preparing for a long trip and you decide to take nothing with you. And I do mean absolutely nothing! Talk about packing light! Not only that, but you decide not to make hotel reservations. Oh, and you do not take even a penny with you! That would seem very foolish to me. After all, I am someone whose girlfriends laugh at when I pack for a trip. I admit it, I am a cautious traveler. There is a sense of security in making certain I have everything I need with me. My way of thinking is certainly not our heavenly Father’s. When he sent the disciples out he told them not to take anything with them. Not even a change of clothes! Oh girlfriends, what if we needed evening clothes? How about matching shoes to go with every outfit? Then we would want cute purses to go with the shoes. Matching jewelry would be a must! And what about the weather? What if the climate where we are going changes? I also like to know ahead of time where I will be laying my head down at night. Sounds too risky to me! If you are one of those free spirit types you are probably laughing at me and thinking, “What a fun adventure!” And you would be exactly right. Though the disciples could not see it in advance, Jesus had already made provisions for them. God wanted them to trust him and be totally dependant on His divine care. The sweetest times in my life have been when my heavenly Father has cared for me not through a paycheck, but in very unexpected ways. This brings us closer to our Father as we have no one to trust except Him. Dearest girlfriends, on your journey in life, are you packing too much, or are you packing lightly and trusting your heavenly Father for His provision?
He told them, “Don’t take anything with you! Don’t take a walking stick or a traveling bag or food or money or even a change of clothes. When you are welcomed into a home, stay there until you leave that town. ~ Luke 9:3-4 CEV
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~ Matthew 6:25-34 NIV
Then Jesus asked them, “When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?” “Nothing,” they answered. ~ Luke 22:35 NIV